I think we are halfway through summer vacation aren’t we? Well if we aren’t we should be! Because isn’t summer supposed to be time off for moms too? A time to not nag the kids, get more work done whether it is in the home or for a job or both? Well it is not that for me. It seems the older my kids get the more I have to nag them and the more busy my husband and I are during the summer.
For kids who plan to play sports (or who want to play sports) in high school in the fall their vacation will be over as soon as try-outs begin in August. But prior to try-outs there is the nag time that I am enduring as i try to beg and plead with my son to get off his rear-end and get on outside to workout. I am the one who began to assign him his daily workouts and tried to make sure he did them. Because if he wants to make the team he needs to be able to run 2 miles in a certain amount of time(nobody will tell me how much time that is so i am going with 20 minutes). So you MUST get out there and get it done so you can make the team.
We may be one of few families at his school who have a full gym with nautilus equipment and functional equipment like tires and ropes in a gym in their backyard -as my husband is a trainer and conditioning coach. Yes he is! And why might we have to be nagging our son to get out and workout you might wonder- while other kids flock to have my husband train them?! Well that is because my trainer husband is just dad to my kids..not trainer dad. So we can talk the big workout talk but to my son it is just parent nag….blah –blah –(we nag bc we love – right?).
I wonder why I even care so much. My daughter has decided she wants to make the field hockey team this year and she took it upon herself to join a team for the summer and to continue work outs that she had been doing all winter. She does not need nagging – just rides everywhere… She knows what it will take- and she gets it done. AND she still has much down time to do the stuff she likes to do. My son – well not so much- he loves one thing- video games- well maybe 2 things -if you count TV. At age 13 nearing 14 I have decided that I can handle his addiction to video games because I picture him becoming less enamored with gaming as his high school life begins (ie social life improves and studying gets more demanding). One can only hope. It keeps me going bc we have tried the setting limits thing and have endured the bad moods, and the sneaky behavior — so I lament to friends with kids the same age– and lo and behold this addiction to games is very common- and I am thankful its just to gaming– so I live with it with hopes that as he matures this too shall pass.
Why am I spending much of my summer down time worrying about my kid making soccer? Does he even care that much…I think the answer is no. So I had a sit down with him and we chatted. He does want to make the team but is not sure he wants to try as hard as i want him to. But he realizes after our chat that if he wants me to sign him up for soccer camp that I must see a commitment of some kind. So he has been going out each day to workout with my other son (who does not want to try-out for soccer but likes the workouts with his brother- bonus- …oh but this one sleeps until noon). On Wednesday – 3 days into the workouts- soccer hopeful son said he would like a break for the day–what? You had 2 workouts – and he is not even running! Ok I told him…sigh… He was back at it in yesterday but the long run is not happening. We have decided to have him evaluated by a soccer coach this weekend. We hope that someone who knows what it takes to make the team with evaluate and let him know how he can improve his chances..if this comes from another person who is not a parent it might have more impact.
I don’t know what he thinks its easy to get on the team—its too hard –he cant really tell me and i am not sure he knows other than he is a tad lazy and rather watch video games- but I am not going to go one more day nagging him–ok i lie- I will nag but I am letting it go to a couple nags a day not my all out mom mode nagging- it is too exhausting. I want a mom summer. I want some downtime between running my daughter to friends houses and hockey games (at least she has a social life) and worrying that I am a bad mom if I let my other son sleep past noon (we like when he is asleep- oh here he now and its 11:50am! We like when he is awake too- but wake time for him can be dramatic sometimes which equals drama for all of us – mom summer remember? – don’t judge). If soccer son makes the team he does- if not then he needs another activity- which looks like marching band at this point (yes I will have to nag him to practice…but that is in the fall!)
NOTE to mom’s of soon to be teens out there- TEENS ARE EXHAUSTING! Maybe its because I am 50 (many of my friends my age have much older kids now- I became a mom late) but I just get pooped out trying to manage them. In the fall I can provide their supplies, the link to their assignments, read over papers if asked, but i am done with the micro-managing of every day life of a teen. If they fail so be it. Oh I will be their worst nightmare if they are caught lying about who-what- where they are, if they drink, do drugs…etc. But in the everyday part of life like : are you going to clean your bathroom or live in a sty – when is the last time you bathed -are you going to study for this or that- I just have to step back- and even more in the summer- UNLESS we are having company because then I care about the bathroom and my kids cleanliness.
So how do I have a mom summer? I really don’t think I will have what I was hoping for but I can let up a little and just let the soccer try-outs just be what they are going to be. I can put my feet up when I get a chance…I am typing this from my mom chair with my feet up right now. I can get organized. Hey this week I even cleaned out the kid supply drawer got on a roll and cleaned out my dining buffet – our TV console – and a bookcase—purging was good- Oh yea I am living the dream! Mom summer is on!
Oh!- and one final note to moms to soon to be teens–teens are wonderful people who are growing into adulthood right in front our our eyes. It is really an amazing thing. Parent exhaustion is really worth it… No I really mean this — …I do:)
Thanks for reading…