If a mommy has a tantrum when she is alone did she make a sound? This mommy did. I had a mommy tantrum this morning and it was loud -but it’s ok -nobody was here to feel my wrath except my dogs but they aren’t talking.

Have you ever just had one of THOSE days – then you snap? In my case it was only morning and I’m not at my best in the morning. I’m cranky and with the husband away and poor sleep it gets nasty. So, have you just had one of those days, minutes, seconds where you just lose it? Sometimes you are in the throes of the mommy tantrum and your like “dang-where did this come from?” I was ranting and yelling and swearing. ( I’m going to work on that during lent). I texted my kids bc I was mad at them. All of them at once. I hate being mad at my kids all at the same time. It’s yucky.

In this case I was mad about things that didn’t get done and I physically cannot do them. Which then makes me realize that living on this much land isn’t working like it used too. I know it’s the frustration that gets to me and especially at 6am!

I think it’s ok for a mommy to lose it sometimes as long as nobody gets hurt. It not easy being a mom. Nobody ever told me how hard teens were and I have 3 of them all at once! I am more exhausted now than when I had little ones. Back then it was my body getting tired –now it’s my brain.

My little children who thought I hung the moon- or at least they thought I was the boss -have become surly aliens who are developing their own ideas and habits. I’m loving this growth except for the surly part and the self-centeredness and some of the habits. Well sometimes I don’t like their ideas either but that’s what’s supposed to happen – right? L told me the other day in response to a comment I made about people eating dogs in South Korea that we should let them do their thing bc that’s what they do in that country -eat dogs. I guess if you looked at his statement fairly he’s right. We eat cows in this country and aren’t they sacred in India? But I can’t look at this fairly bc I adore dogs. In my home dogs are revered and gushed over. I can’t imagine wanting to eat an animal that needs us in the way a domesticated animal needs us. But I need to respect my child’s idea. He’s growing and getting his own opinions. Wonder how he will react when I tell him tonight that that round steak he’s eating is really dog. Nah! I’m kidding I wouldn’t do this – we aren’t even having round steak. But I’ll never get my mind around eating dogs. But I will listen to my child’s opinions. We might not always agree but I will always listen.

My kids who once liked to help out around here have become like sloths that you can’t get moving. Where is my little boy who would haul chicken feed and wood chips into the barn without attitude? Many teen parents can relate I am sure. And it is not only the ‘tude it’s that the quality of the work is really bad. That’s where my mommy tantrum rooted from this morning. Stuff left undone that effected our animals. Gah! I’m right to be irritated but probably the tantrum wasn’t helpful to anyone. But I’m going to own it. I had one and it’s not the last one I am sure. I’m not proud of it but I’m not going to pretend I’m this perfect mom. I’m so far from it!

This time nobody but the dogs witnessed my tantrum. They are mentally unscathed. One has his head on my foot as I’m writing this. The devotion of dogs. How can anyone eat them? I digress. Anyway aside from the very irritated texts my kids received from me they have no idea how bad I lost it. Once I recovered over some hot chocolate (bc I couldn’t rationalize wine that early in the day), I went on with my morning in ok spirits. I was just getting out of the shower when I got a text from Ozzy ( he just got the use of a very locked up phone) saying that he would come straight home after school today to complete all the stuff that hadn’t gotten done last night and this morning. Then he wrote “I’m in an exam. “.  I texted “ok.” He wrote: “bye, love you ” – and just that fast it was all ok.

Thanks for reading.