My husband, Kevin, and I have the TV on all night long. We tend to wake up and sometimes have insomnia so it is nice to have the TV tuned to what we like to watch in the middle of the night. HGTV…I will say that Kevin does not watch much HGTV if insomnia strikes…he serial watches stuff on his IPad. But he defers to me and I get to have HGTV on 24/7 (unless we watch a little baseball or a movie). So I digress as usual… anyway since I am up sometimes after 4am I get to watch infomercials. I have seen a lot of them! I own many of the things I have seen. Hey they wear you down after a while. But i am the proud owner of a Ninja, a Nutri-bullet, a few Shark Vacuums, and recently the 21 Day fix which I will review at some point.

The infomercials have become like a clock for me. I know what time it is by what is on. Last night I found myself outside (yes out in the dark) trying to figure out why our ducks were quacking. I am figuring that it was about 3am bc of what show was on HGTV. I never looked at the clock. I came back in from checking (I had no idea why those big mouths were up last night but I set them straight and closed them up in the coop/run. – well today I suspect i know whey they were up- a chicken was outside the enclosure- she does this every day and then wants immediately back in after she jumps out.  Someone must have missed her last night a feed time and i did not see her until I went out this morning. – lucky she was still alive.) Look at that -I digressed again- I do that. I came back indoors and got back in bed and watched the end of Property Brothers..so it was before 4am. I did not see infomercials so I must have fallen back asleep and I woke to an HGTV show so that meant it was after 6:30am… who needs a clock?

Anyway after having looked at a a zillion infomercials over and over they sometimes get stuck in my brain. This last one that has been on my mind was a product that gets rid of crepey skin. I think I wasn’t sure what crepey skin was but after seeing this commercial a dozen times I did realize that I freaking have crepey skin! Its all over me…I am turning into crepe paper! Like I don’t have enough to worry about with the wrinkles and the sags..now its crepe paper like. And I am not joking here I am serious- I now am aware of my crepey skin and I do not like it. So I did what I do when something is on my mind – I began researching the issue and told my husband.

Convo:

Me: I am trying to find a product cheaper than the one on the infomercial for crepey skin.

Him: What?

Me: I have crepey skin and I need it gone. I don’t want to buy the product on the infomercial bc I will get on some program where they keep sending it and then if you want to cancel,,,

Him interrupting: You don’t have crepey skin.

I know he has seen this infomercial so I know he must kind of know what crepey skin is. Do I dare show him my flaws? Of course I will bc I must prove to him that I do in fact have this problem. So I show him the crepe paper.

Him: I don’t see anything.

Me: What?!! I don’t understand how you cannot see that. (me pointing at the flaw)

Him: You must be looking at yourself from a weird angle bc I don’t see anything.

I have to say this made me laugh – he is so sweet/smart that he makes this crap up on the fly – so he doesn’t have to say he sees this flaw. It’s like when I ask if he can tell I gained weight. He just has to say no. I think he finds it a no win situation. And really- isn’t it?

So I went on my way with my crepey skin and forgot about it for maybe a few days. But somehow it came up again – maybe at lunch. I began lamenting about it and he just looked at me. I was like “What?” – maybe I had food on my face- I checked – nope.

He says” Why do women worry about this?” I mean come on he has his insecurities too but in his defense he rarely talks about them and he isn’t looking for any creams to fix them (ok he does buy protein powders to make him big and bulky- sorry Kevin.) But I suppose he does wonder why women in general worry about these things(or why I do). I looked at him and asked “Don’t you notice crepey skin on women?” (Not just me but others – I had to group us women together – safer for him to answer).

He looked me right in the eye and said “No I don’t.”  Well…hmmmm – I began to wonder if maybe men in general don’t really notice all the flaws we women see on ourselves or maybe they just don’t care about all that. Especially when those men love the person asking.

Kevin often says to me at the oddest times “You are so pretty.” I am like “eww I just woke up”, or “my hair is dirty” or “I don’t have makeup on”. I don’t often say thank you. I wonder why I can’t take the compliment. Maybe he really doesn’t see the flaws, the aging, the things I dislike (even hate) about myself.

Women are their own worst critics and women are critical of other women(but it is all done with love right?). I know men are visual but I don’t think they are looking at the same things we are. My husband only sees the good in me- he has always been that way. He made me feel worthy after years of feeling I wasn’t.  I used to think it was all luck.  But after years of feeling like I didn’t deserve the best I decided I wasn’t just lucky -at some point I decided that I deserved this wonderful person who thinks I am so good and who loves me as unconditionally as humans can- and who doesn’t see the flaws I so readily find in and on myself. I must say,  I am very happy for the things he does see and extremely grateful for the things he doesn’t see. Rose colored glasses? Maybe – but I will take it.

Thanks for reading…

PS- I am not forgetting I have crepey skin- nah – but I think I will keep using my coconut oil (no bad stuff in it) and will be adding Cocoa butter. Cheap solutions!