Distraction

Funk

Upgraded tank.

The other day Kevin and I went on a bagel trek to Frederick, MD- its about 18 miles from us.  For some reason the local Panera has closed. I have not been able to find real bagels other than Panera. I am not sure of the details of their closure but I wanted “real” bagels and I wanted to get out of this house for a bit- so off we went.

I know this probably was not an essential trip – though it was tied in with getting chicken feed and meal worms- and I really wasn’t keen on going so far for bagels but we did.  Wanting real bagels is not a real problem – i can hold out and eat toast or english muffins..but for me the bagels are just a way to feel some normalcy again. Get in the car, stop at Starbucks—get a coffee — grab some bagels from Panera– grab other essentials.  On Saturday AM when I realized the Panera closest to us was closed I was bummed because in my head when I woke I had that task in my head. We get to go get bagels. I needed to feel “normal”—so we went a bit further to Frederick to get them.

What is not normal is that when you leave your house you now carry a face mask, maybe protective gloves, you probably have hand sanitizer in your car and some lysol wipes or something like that.

Sometimes it can almost feel normal on the way to run an errand. .Kevin and I can chat and listen to music. We notice the lack of traffic but we can be in a bubble for a while that feels almost normal.  I love that feeling! But then we pull up to the shopping center and there is a line at the Aldi’s grocers. People stand six feet apart, donning masks (some gloved) all waiting their turn to get in because now we cannot just walk in to a store – there are limits to how many can go in- if you can go in at all.

At Panera a few doors down from Aldi- they are doing curbside pick-up.  It is convenient- but so impersonal. And it has to be for everyone’s safety. It sucks but needed. I thanked the young woman who handed over the bag of bagels to me. I had my mask on because she came to my side of the car. I tried to look grateful with my eyes as I told her to stay safe. I then complimented her on her mask fabric choice. It was cute…. but then I said “I can’t believe I am complimenting you on a mask”.  She said ” I know crazy , right?”  and we went on our way.

I am not sure if my funk began then because this is crazy-  or maybe it had been festering over these last couple weeks.  Things feel off for me.  Maybe it is because I am so over this whole thing – but I know this virus will not be over us for a good while.  We also found out my son in the Navy has been quarantined with his division because someone got Covid-19. My other two kids are out of work because of the shutdowns. Also, my horse is acting a bit off.  And I setup a new bigger fish tank and transferred our current fish- which were Navy son’s- and two didn’t live- too much shock. Such a small thing – I know. But flushing those two fish just made me feel crummy. Who knows what pushes us into the funk. I mean the virus is enough. Seeing the suffering is enough.  There is nothing I can do to stop this thing. Lack of control is scary.

I think maybe it is really dawning on me that the world as we knew it is now gone – and life has changed for good.  Like my life before and after my cancer – there is a definite division.  At least for a while things will be quite different for the world  in how we interact in public.

It is hard to watch the suffering every day. It is hard to feel at the mercy of something you can’t even see.  What will the toll to human life be?  There are so many ways  this virus can devastate us including death.  We see the toll rise each day.  And there will be a balance on how things progress to reopening – so we can hopefully live life again- on the other side of the divide.

So today I am in a funk. Some days it is just really hard….its normal to feel these feelings. This isolation takes it’s toll. The financial worries take their tolls. If you are feeling badly never be afraid to reach out to someone for help.  Even a chat with a friend can be comforting.

I do understand that this has happened before over and over throughout history – we have many before’s and after’s, the Spanish flu, world wars, natural disasters , 9-11…. We are human- and we adapt.  But it is jarring and a change – a new shift in what we knew as reality. So it is stressful and scary. And on some days very overwhelming- I just want to pull the covers over my head and sleep- so I can forget for a while.

Instead, I write.

 

 

 

 

Zoom Trivia Night- during a Pandemic

Zoom meetingZOOM- whenever I hear that name  I think of the song from the long ago show by the same name. “We’re gonna Zoom , Zoom, Ah Zoom. We’re gonna Zoom ah, Zoom ah, Zoom. Come on give it a try…We’re gonna tell you just how…” I think that is how it went anyway.  Anyone remember that? Clearly Zoom was named by a much younger generation who did not know this show ever existed. Oh the limits we had on TV in the olden days!

Well , we Zoomed the other night! Yes we did. AND we did it with friends! We had a Zoom Trivia night. I have been seeing many Zoom gatherings lately posted on social media. My husband went to a work happy hour on Zoom. He said it was pretty cool.

Last week we took a Zoom stretching class with a trainer (who is also my sister-in-law).  It was fun! Well as fun as stretching can be when you have become rather inflexible! I have also gone to church services on Zoom. I think during this time this is a much needed outlet for people.  I am grateful to my friend Pastor Tom Atkins for having these intimate sessions.

I had been missing game nights that we had begun to have with our family and friends over the last six months or so and I was missing connecting with humans. Texting is one thing but seeing people and talking to them is another.  I  was also hoping to feel semi-normal for a bit- everything is so off kilter now. But I suppose there is nothing normal about Zoom parties – or maybe a few weeks ago it was not a regular thing to do- but the world has changed in a short time. I just wanted a distraction for a bit from the pandemic.

So I decided it might be fun to host a Zoom game night.  I was and am a novice to Zoom but decided to tackle it and create a meeting. It is not too hard. But a couple things I didn’t know cropped up. One thing I learned was that it we were limited to 40 minutes per meeting only so I had to upgrade to a plan that can be cancelled any time. The cost is $14.99 a month. This way I could have unlimited time for my meeting and up too 100 friends. Which was not the number we would have for the game night!

Once the meeting was created I needed to decide what games to play. I also welcomed input from those invited.   I googled the phrase “Zoom game night ideas” and got a lot of hits.  There are a lot of drinking games- sounded fun – but I was not looking for that.  There was a form of bingo and Pictionary and much more.  Feeling a bit overwhelmed I decided to keep it simple. Trivia. All invitees agreed.

Trivia it was but then we had to decide how to play it. I found a phone app that all attendees  could have logged on to and played together while we were on Zoom – but I wanted to try it out first because I didn’t want it to be like we would be on our phones more than we were interacting via the video app. The idea was to socialize- I can play Words With Friends whenever.

In the end I just asked everyone to bring some form of trivia questions to the meeting. And it was BYOB – haha.  Everyone was able to access the meeting pretty easily. We made introductions as we had a mix of friends and family playing. Then we decided how to play because I wasn’t sure of a proper format. Should it be teams or individuals.

We decided one person would read the questions and we would be teams and would have mini-games.  One person would read out the questions for that game. Each game consisted of ten questions.  Teams could discuss questions privately after each question was read as there is a mute feature. We made a 30 second time limit to get answers written down but really never needed that. Then we would score our answers and I kept tally. We played about 5-6 games.

It was great fun! We shared our guesses before we were told the answers.  We had a lot of laughs. We had 9 people total (our teen niece did opt out after a bit- understandably!). I did learn some things-

  1. Zoom meetings gives one a reason to shower, blow-dry and put on makeup for the occasion.  One sister-in-law thanked me for having the game night as it made her shower. I put on make-up – this was  because it was a rare social event and it made me feel normal getting ready -like I was going out. Except I wore Pjs to the event! My girlfriend that came posted that she was primping for  the event!  Oh what our world has become!
  2. As people had their adult beverages the talking got louder and it was a bit harder to communicate. But it was a lot of laughs!
  3. Live music is an added bonus. My very talented BIL Pat played a couple songs on his guitar.
  4. Zoom has the option of changing your background and honestly you could have a whole party dedicated to adding funny backgrounds behind you!
  5. It is something I definitely needed.

We plan to host another Zoom game night soon.  I really needed to feel connection with others (as many can relate to this) and maybe for a couple hours forget the stress and sadness that all the news from the virus brings. This is an unprecedented  and scary time but we are lucky to have the ability to connect in this way.  It doesn’t replace real human connection but it was very uplifting for me and my mom and husband.  For a while it was just fun and laughs –  and I got tidied up. So that’s something!