Summer

Dear Navy Son,

Thanks for that Tanks. Well one tank I should say. You know the one -that fish tank that looked like a swamp that you left me to take care when you went off to the Navy? Yes that one- the one that has two angelfish and two whatever they are called fish swimming in muck. Yeah- you knew mom would not let that tank stay that way. You know when any live animal becomes my responsibility it becomes imperative that they live in the best conditions possible.

By the way-do you recall the amount of money we spent all those many years ago on a crab-itat for a beach hermit crab (Crabitat -google it) ? No you had no idea because you were like eight. A $4 hermit crab required a $150 home because that is what I do! I provide luxury! I am nuts. And wasn’t the man at the beach super impressed when we told him -when we saw him at his store at the beach years later -that your hermit crab lived over two years in that palace we built him? He was super impressed he laughed- tried to sell us another. No thanks!

Yes so back to the fish you left me. Thanks again! I bought a new tank – what a great thing to do during a pandemic! All the rescue dogs are gone and most of the breeders have years long waiting lists so for me it was a new fish tank!

Yep you knew it. Twenty gallons. New filter, airstone, heater, etc. My previous fishkeeping skills began to come back and I began to get interested in the chemical balances that are needed to keep a tank healthy. I got the tank through its first nitrogen cycle (look it up) and finally transferred your fish to the new tank. Sadly the no-name fish died. Yeah they took one for the team I am afraid. We gave them a proper sailor burial in the toilet. Oh sorry you are a sailor now so that might not sit well. We flushed them…lets not glorify it. Truly I was sorry they didn’t make it but the change from the swill they were living in to the pristine tank was too much. I did learn along the way. So their demise was not in vain.

I will tell you- angelfish are pretty and pretty boring. I have not added more fish to the tank bc I hear angelfish aren’t always nice despite being – well – angels and I was having chemical issues with the tank as it adjusted to the fish. So we watched the fish basically float inert in water. I mean they don’t even care about food. I have not once seen them eat but they must because they are alive. I have learned less is more when it comes to feeding – and for them seriously – like no food seems like it would be ok- but I jest because they are living under my care and I will care for them so well! Not feeding is not in the vocab. But I have read I can limit feeding to every few days and they will eat algae in the tank – they will be fine. Who knew!?

I found this out only after I put a 7 day feeder (seemed excessive for two fish) in the tank when we went away. Came back to algae!! And a dirty tank. Turns our those feeders are considered crap by fish keeping experts. _ like my fishlady in Petco. Lesson learned fishlady- lesson learned. I now feed them limited amounts and my house sitter fed them twice over our last getaway and the fish and the tank were great.

Why then did I do this next thing?

Once I had the biology in the tank looking pretty good despite the algae -I decided to get snails as they are algae eaters and we had a bit of alage growing – and snails are kind of cool. So I read up on snails and their reproduction habits (don’t want 1000 snails like happened to me as a kid in my guppy tank- nightmare) and found out that Nerite snails won’t reproduce in fresh water. Fishlady told me they can reproduce but the baby snails won’t live. That depressed me. But I decided to take a chance on the snails because I thought maybe snails would be more exciting than the angelfish! Snails- more fun – really?

The fishlady bagged up the snails for me. I decided on a whim to add live plants to the tank. Well why not. I read they provide oxygen (under water too!- who knew?) and are just generally good in tanks. So she bagged up the plants and then funny enough she noticed a little hanger on in the bag. A tiny crab. A fiddler crab. She was going to take it out. But it was so cute! How much is it I ask? I can see dads brain chugging – another freaking thing to care for! He is not in love with the fish. And I can’t bring him to the fish tank loving side when he has to help me clean it by lugging buckets of water to and fro and he gets no enjoyment out of the tank because the angelfish are BORING! But this was a CUTE CRAB! Maybe it would be fun!

So yep it is home living here. In the tank. I learned I needed to make the water salty- not sea salty- just had to add aquarium salt and make sure the PH was right and the alkalinity was good. Yep biology! Fun for mom!

Anyway the tiny crab is cute. As heck. Dad likes! And I read they need friends – not dad – the crab (but dad too). It does some dance ritual all the time so I thought it might need a buddy. Well I read that so I know it to be the case. Well the dance ritual can be a mating thing to attract the gals with his big claw – and also as a defense to scare other big clawed male crabbies away!

So fishlady ordered me some gal pals for crabby. His name is Paddy. Yes original (thanks Spongebob). They arrived yesterday!. I am not sure the girls have noticed Paddy- he has been working away with his dancing. But they are adjusting to the new digs. And if I am honest one lady is missing and I am hoping she didn’t jump out of the tank. Like the eel – the one whose whereabouts we have never figured out!? I think she is just hiding someplace and will show up when she is more used to the tank. Fingers crossed.

Paddy – the crab -doing his dance!

The crabs are way more exciting than the angelfish and Dad is finally getting some enjoyment from the tank. Oh and also the fishlady told me that two angels in a 20 gallon is too crowded for them. I can’t add any more fish safely. What? They may kick other fish butts if I put them in with them. How did your four fish live in that ten gallon crud hole? I was skeptical about this 20 gallon being too small. But began to wonder should I get them a bigger tank? I had read that angels need bigger tanks but they stay in like 1/3 of the tank most of the time…remember they are boring. But then fishlady said the right words…

…sale on tanks…big sale… huge sale….so we are now the owners of a 40 gallon tank. New filter too – a good one- cost more than the tank. Need other accessories and a stand and then we will have a real bargain tank on our hands. Yeah- it will be a palace for the angels…. and I will have to get the tank all in balance again- biology! Truthfully I am going to have to get the verve to begin this again (and you know I will keep the 20 gallon too- so more work for dad!) so in the meantime I am loving the crabs….they kind of look like spiders with all their legs – a little ick but the rest is cool.

Oh and thanks again son for the tank… it been an unwanted endeavor but yes fun for me – and now for dad.

love you …

mom….(and dad – most of the time- jk 3/4 of the time)

XXXOOO

Cool Breeze Cottage

One of the biggest blessings for me in this last year has been the purchase of a beach house and being able to spend lots of time living in it.

When my dad died in 2016 I opted to have my brother buy me out of my dads Florida condo so Kevin and I could buy a home on the Delaware shore. We found this cottage in a community named Bay Colony in Dagsboro, DE (it is really north Ocean View but has a Dagsboro zip code) – the neighborhood sits on the edge of the Indian River Bay about five miles west from the ocean town of Bethany Beach.

Indian River Bay, DE

Bethany Beach is one of two beaches I came to when I was growing up. I have always felt home here and it seemed fitting that this is where we would buy our beach home. We had spent many summers looking at homes in the areas surrounding the beach town – at that time ownership only a dream.

Bethany is where I spent years riding waves with my dad and brother(mom wasn’t a swimmer). We escaped a hurricane while on vacation here in 1976 – I think that was the year anyway – dad drove us to Dover to ride out the storm and all I recall is all of us piled into one hotel room and sleeping on a box spring with my best friend Eileen and getting some nasty stomach bug. We came back to the beach house we were renting and saw water lines on the house about five feet up- but there wasn’t any damage as I recall.

We stayed at a place called Hodge Podge Lodge for a couple summers when I was a kid- thats where I recall having bad sunburn and sandy bed sheets a beach staple. Mostly I remember great times in the sun and by the ocean. Kevin and I began coming here as a family in 2004 or so and made it our family tradition every summer for many years. We did spend a couple summers in Cape May, NJ – but Bethany was always where the kids said the liked best.

Bethany calls itself the Quiet Resort and that is what it is. It’s small and nothing stays open very late. For a rowdier time there is Ocean City, MD to the south and Dewey Beach to the North. For great food and also great shopping in the town and their outlets we can head to Rehoboth Beach just a bit north of Dewey Beach. And if the mood strikes we can take the ferry to Cape May, NJ – the other town I spent years going to as a child.

Many New Jersey residents are finding their way to Delaware to buy beach homes or to buy retirement homes because the Jersey taxes are very high – Delaware property taxes are very low and there is no sales tax. We are seeing New Yorkers and Philly residents as well- which is increasing demand for housing in the area – so new home starts are on the rise here. And its a lot more crowded in the summer -obviously- but there are many full timers here now and there is something going on almost every weekend over the off-season.

We named our house– Cool Breeze Cottage in homage to the nickname my dad gave me as a teen. My dad loved giving nicknames to people and places so I’m sure he would find humor in the use of this old nickname of mine for our cottage. I didn’t like the nickname as a teen but laughed at as an adult and now having raised my own teens I get it!

We are always a work in progress here but the bones of this home are good. We’ve lightly redone bathrooms and removed carpets and added flooring. We added new and old furniture. We added a fenced in backyard because we will always have dogs here. Kevin and my son Zach built and installed shutters. That woke the house up!

Last fall we had a landscaper come in and do some work. It looks great but it was soooo expensive. So this summer we have been maintaining the area ourselves. Which includes weeding– I used to like weeding but not anymore – so we added landscape stones to some of the front beds. We still have to weed but hopefully not as much. The plantings really are lovely and the stone walk on the side of the house looks nice.

We do have many projects left and a few things to replace. We plan to add board and batten trim in a few areas of the house and maybe some shiplap and we will paint the walls- or hire someone for that. I am not sure how much painting I can do anymore. The kitchen will be done eventually. But for now it’s good.

We spent this weekend painting my in-laws old dining table. It needed an update – the move was hard on it. We may paint the kitchen cabinets. But that will be more Kevin than me because my nerve damaged arm can only do so much. I type this and take break to put an ice pack on for a while – the price for overdoing. But I like to be doing- so I take the pain. I just want to feel as normal as I can.

Before paint- My in-laws dining table

Still need to sand and then seal

Generally, most of our time here is for relaxing and sitting near some body of water. Kevin and I are able to work from here so that makes our time we are able to stay here very flexible. This home is not a rental but we have had some family and close friends use the house some. It is nice to be able to share it with others. I truly think this is a little piece of heaven on earth. And I know how blessed we are to be able to enjoy something like this. I wish my dad could see it – he would have liked it. I still get excited each time we come here and I am sad when we leave. I hug the house right in the kitchen/Family room door opening every time we leave. I hope I never take this place for granted.

I think I will write more posts about the area. We are discovering many places to eat and stores to shop in. It is really a nice place to be.